[klondike98]

I'm not an expert but here's the approach I take.  

1) Strip off the old finish.  I use "citristrip" followed by lacquer thinner and lots of paper towels to get the last of the old stuff off.
2) Repair veener and glue any loose sections on the cabinet.
3) If it needs sanding I will lightly sand with 220 grit then 320 but at this stage it may not need sanding.
4) I usually spray on a coat of sanding sealer at this stage (Deft sells is as to do others).
5) Grain fill if needed.  Walnut is often the veneer used and has deep grains in it that if left unfilled make the cabinet less attractive in my opinion.  Lately I've been grain filling with Timbermate (walnut colored).  I add enough water to make a slurry about the consistency of mustard or a bit thicker and then work that into the grain with a brush.  Using a credit card or other straight edge, scrape off the majority of the slurry and allow it to dry.  Sand off the remainder with 220 then 320 and see how well the grain has filled.  A second filling is sometimes necessary.
6) Mask off the appropriate areas and spray on the toner.  Go lightly until you get a feel for how it will look.  It may take a few coatings to get the tone you are looking for.
7) Spray on gloss lacquer.  I do three coats with about 10 minutes between each coat, then let it dry for several hours, sand lightly with 320.  Repeat 3 more coats and sand and then do 3 more.  (if you are putting a decal on, I add the decal after the first set of gloss coats.)
8 )  If it all looks nice and glossy I will wait several weeks and then rub out the coating with 2F pumice followed by Rottenstone.   If it didn't look too good I may do some additional sanding and even some additional gloss coats followed by the rub out.  After a few more weeks I'll give it a paste wax, I use Johnsons.

I have never found toners in big box stores but we have a woodworking store nearby that has a few Behlen products but have not used them.